Broken

This weekend wasn’t supposed to bad for me, but it was. It didn’t start out that way; in fact I was pretty excited about the weekend. My mom and aunt came to visit me on Saturday, I had a party for my friend’s son’s 3rd birthday to attend, and then on Sunday I had church and a super bowl party to attend with one of my best friends. I was looking forward to the weekend... but of course that came crashing all down.

I came home from the birthday party, after a full day of being busy. I had spent much of Friday night cleaning and working on homework, and pretty much all of Saturday morning cleaning and running to Costco, then lunch with my mom and aunt. My husband came outside to great me at the car. Now thinking about it, I know that he was purposely trying to meet me and hurt me. He told me about our outrageous cell phone bill, I told him I was sorry and that I thought we had more minutes then we did.

I don’t think I need to go into the events of that night, because I am not proud of myself. He pushed me to my breaking point. I haven’t had the most pleasant thoughts of late, some days just waking up makes me feel as if I should just give up. I’m not sure why I am like this, I didn’t used to be. My world came crashing down that night, and I think what hurts the most is that he did it to be mean to me.

I feel now as if I have been taken back months. I worked so hard to reach a certain point and now I seem to have fallen off the wagon and fallen backwards. I don’t understand why he needed to kick me when I was down. I know that this weekend will shape my life forever and the relationship I have with him.